


Chocolate Soap

by foreverdistracted



Category: British Actor RPF, Real Person Fiction, The Hobbit RPF
Genre: Community: hobbit_kink, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-30
Updated: 2013-10-30
Packaged: 2017-12-30 23:34:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1024713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foreverdistracted/pseuds/foreverdistracted
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Desperate measures for not-quite-desperate times.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chocolate Soap

**Author's Note:**

  * For [strawberryrose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberryrose/gifts).



> Written as a fill for [this fun prompt](http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/6124.html?thread=19847660#t19847660) in the HKM, very happy that the OP (Strawberryrose) liked! Chocolate-covered Lee and Richard for the amazing beta, any remaining mistakes are mine.

So, maybe Lee got his hopes up a little - at least it brought on some laughs and snickers on set. While his intention may have been a little shady, it was still incredibly entertaining, watching Richard sniff around a few times with a deeply puzzled frown on his face. He's always harbored this thought that Dwarves share very key characteristics with puppies, and Richard, while wearing Thorin's face and costume, trying to find the source of a particular scent just reinforces that little whimsy. If the Dwarf king had a tail, Lee's sure it would have been wagging.

As it is, he has to declare this little venture a disappointing failure. It was worth a shot. He hadn't been able to get the idea out of his head since he heard Jed and Adam telling that Prince William story, anyway. 

_"Catering just wheeled in ten trays of chocolate mousse," Adam said. That tiny bit of news caused a few knowing smirks and mock-groans._

_"What's wrong with chocolate?" Lee asked._

_"Richard is." Jed's grin was practically wolfish. "We made the mistake of giving him some during the UK premiere."_

_"He was making the most obscene noises," Mark chimed in. "Absolutely sinful, obscene noises. And Prince William was _right there_."_

_"Richard doesn't know that he heard." Jed raised his eyebrows and nodded. "Oh, but he _heard._ "_

_Behind Jed, Lee was the only one in a good position to see Richard in the distance, making a hurried beeline for the catering area, fast as his legs could carry him without outright running._

_"He looked so scandalised." Adam simultaneously laughed and blushed at the memory, as if unable to decide between the two. "Philippa had to take Richard by the arm and talk Tolkien with him in another room until all the chocolate was gone."_

Since that story, the untouched bar of chocolate-scented soap in the care package his friends sent him had been at the forefront of Lee's mind. He decided to give it a try today, but apart from making Richard look like a happy little bloodhound, it didn't really do anything else.

"You." 

Lee freezes while removing Thranduil's cloak. He turns and finds Richard there, wearing black track pants and a sleeveless shirt - his exercise clothes. "Richard," he lamely says. There is a weird, distracted cast to Richard's eyes. "Something wrong?"

He isn't sure if Richard heard him, because the man's face is suddenly inches away from his own. He hears two quick, surreptitious sniffs. "What _is_ that?" 

"New soap?" he replies, with a light laugh. Richard presses close - there is heat emanating from him, intoxicating and musky. Lee gets a whopping eyeful of how tightly that shirt stretches across Richard's chest; the long, corded neck; strong, bared shoulders; and okay, _arms_. Muscled, sweaty, flawless arms. That's just fucking excessive. 

Richard brushes Thranduil's hair away from his neck and presses his nose _there_ , right below where the prosthetic meets skin, and oh God hiscostumeissotight... "You smell..."

Lee's voice comes out strangled and high-pitched. "Sweaty?" _Oh, hell._ Here the man is, pressing him against the wall, all but grinding against his front, and he can't even come up with something remotely seductive to say.

He feels a mixture of relief and disappointment when Richard draws back. At least he can breathe now. But Richard remains, and it takes a while for Lee to register that he just took Lee's left hand in his, pushed Thranduil's sleeve close to his elbow, and closely _sniffed his wrist._

"It's all over you." Richard takes a longer sniff of his skin, and another, and Lee wonders why his wrist suddenly feels wet until he realises - tongue. That was tongue. That was fucking tongue and Lee's thoughts turn to gibberish. "Did you fall into something?"

" _What_ are you two doing?" Richard turns his head. Past him, Lee can see Graham watching the two of them with the most judgmental expression he's ever seen on the man. One that says Graham most definitely has an idea what they're doing, but that he'd still like to hear their version just in case, thank you very much.

"Lee smells delicious," Richard says without preamble. Lee squirms a little but he can't think of anything to contribute. Not with Richard still holding his hand and the man standing so close to him. (Graham, on the other hand, can just fuck off now.)

Graham's expression turns a shade closer to do-not-want-to-hear-this. "...All right, then. I know the name of a good motel -"

"I'm serious," Richard insists, and thrusts Lee's wrist under Graham's nose. "Try this."

Graham takes a tentative sniff and makes a face. "I smell spit. Did you _lick_ this?"

Richard blushes. "Try this one."

 _This must be what a string puppet feels like,_ Lee thinks, as his other wrist is lifted for Graham's perusal.

The knot between Graham's eyebrows smoothens a little after inhaling once. "Ah yes, I see. What is that...cinnamon?"

"Chocolate," Lee says. Never mind that his voice breaks midway.

Graham bursts out laughing. Lee isn't sure, but he could swear he just saw Richard's eyes dramatically dilate. 

His fellow cast member's roaring laughter is already drawing more attention. Once he subsides into light chuckles, Graham says, "Aah, Lee. Brilliant, but..." He leans in and whispers (not that he has to - Richard is too busy inhaling his arm and everyone else is too far to hear), "I guess there's desperate, and then there's you. Good luck!"

Then the burly man is out of reach, and Lee's retort is drowned out by a stagehand yelling his name. Richard reluctantly parts with Lee's arm, though Lee can feel his eyes on him for the rest of the day.

It worked, so Graham can go screw himself. Tomorrow, Lee plans on putting what's left of the soap down his pants and seeing how far that will get him.


End file.
